Be Thou My Vision....
"Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps."
"Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps."
Today is National Fragile X Awareness Day, 2012. I thought I had posted on this day for the last few years, but apparently I missed one for 2011..so here is a peek into what all is happening in the Wilson's home these days...
One particular thing that I have continually felt the Lord granting me...in layers, in spiritual, digestible nuggets, is something that is very important in the heart of any parent, but especially for the FX parent, is COURAGE. For many months God has shown me various verses, spoken through a friend, or whispered to my heart a growing sense of confidence that Landen is, can, and will continue to develop in ways that will free our life in many areas. So often the strain of what we CAN'T do with him weighs so heavily on us that we easily slide into lowering our expectations. I think it's easy to do that when you have a child with a disability...on one hand you are their greatest cheerleader and you want to prove to the world that they are still awesome, delightful human beings that have so much to contribute to the world...on the other you are constantly learning to see them through the lens of FX in an effort to understand them, to cope, to be realistic. Every birthday that passes for him seems to feel harder and yet easier all at the same time. Over time I have accepted his situation, even embraced it. But I also die to dreams of things that he's not able to do at every passing age marker....afterall, other 13 year olds are studying algebra, trying out for football, starting to notice girls, and hanging with their friends. Landen is still watching Elmo, can't ride a bike, and can barely write his first name. But, this is where the little flame of courage that God is fanning in me all the time sparks new hope and new expectations.
Many months ago I pulled out some Scripture verse cards that I had received at one of our womens' retreats a couple of years ago. They are really neat because they printed each verse with each woman's name inserted into the Scripture passage...one that caught my heart's attention reads: "So it's you, Jessica, who is in charge of keeping the entire commandment that I command you today, so that you'll have the strength to invade and possess the land that you are crossing the river to make your own." (Deuteronomy 11:8) I knew that the Lord was speaking to me about taking courage in and through Him in the midst of many situations in my life that God has given me responsibility for, authority over, or a calling to a deeper faith. Some of this applies to my ministry life at the church and in the outside world, and some of it is to encourage me to champion Landen into new horizons. That's the beauty of following Jesus...when He gives Truth, He gives WHOLE Truth that speaks life into so many parts of life. There is not one thing that He wishes to withhold from us, from me. He is delighted in me when I can hold up the broken, shattered parts of my life that don't make sense, and ask Him to put them together, forming a masterpiece for which only HE has the complete vision. And Landen is a part of that. I know in the depths of my heart that God has put such beautiful, eternal qualities in Landen that are unearthed because we have to search through the lens of FX to see them...his condition essentially summons a spotlight onto what God has made in him, because it can't be explained away by typical and external factors..
kissin' "Izzy" at Chick fil-A |
Then I turned 38..Landen got to sing to me...
I love this piece from One Thousand Gifts: "What will a life magnify? The world's stress cracks, the grubbiness of a day, all that is wholly wrong and terribly busted? Or God? ...God is not in need of magnifying by us so small, but the reverse. It's our lives that are little and we have falsely inflated self, and in thanks we decrease and the world returns right. I say thanks and I swell with Him, and I swell the world and He stirs me, joy all afoot."
The lens through which I see the world, my world, is so much clearer when I view it through the heart of Christ. His view pans out to such a bigger picture than whatever earthly stressor is dominating my attention. And yet it also laser focuses in on the tiniest appearances of His beauty, grace, and handiwork in my life. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Beautiful blog Jessica! Your kids are GORGEOUS and it is obvious you are also, both inside and out!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I loved reading this. I read it over again and am so encouraged by what the Lord is doing in your life! I am very thankful I get to be apart of your life & this beautiful, redeemed chaos!!! What the enemy means for harm, God uses for good!! I know that through God's lens Landen is not a burden, but a great joy to His heart. Thankful for God's lense...I would be a lost person without it. Love that boy & you!!!
ReplyDeletethank you soooo much lindsey! i am so grateful for you. i have gained a friend in you and landen has gained an angel. =) i love that we can walk life together, though we are in different seasons (code for: i'm old! lol) You love Jesus in every nook and cranny of your life and I love you for that!! love jess
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